In NYC for the Big Storm

I'm not sure how this happened but....we find ourselves in the the big city for the "storm of the century", Hurricane Sandy.  It's been many a year since Denny and I've lived through a hurricane; the last was Alicia when she hit Houston in 1983. That's a long time ago.

Several days back Denny pointed out that the storm hovering out in the southern Atlantic might hit the east coast sometime during our 5 day trip to New York City. I gave the concern very little thought. As it turns out, our flight from Seattle arrived in to Newark Liberty airport in the nick of time last evening. Plus...we were lucky enough to get one of the last trains from Newark into Penn Station.

You'd never know anything was amiss aside from lighter traffic. Times Square was abuzz last night with tourists. We enjoyed a great hot pastrami sandwich at the Carnegie Deli on storm's eve with mild 60 degree temps and a slight breeze.

The storm ramps up today. Fewer people are out and about and taxis are about the only vehicles aside from police cars on the roads. Most shops are closed. We did manage a great lunch at The National, one of  Geoffrey Zacharian's (iron chef!) restaurants. The chef himself was there, eating with his family and Denny thanked him for keeping his place open. "My pleasure", and a big smile from Geoffrey.

So now we sit in our hotel room with a bottle of Sauv Blanc and the TV on with all the hype about the storm. There's a crane dangling from the top of a 90 story building under construction in mid town Manhattan (not far from here). Yikes.

Here's some pics of Manhattan from last night and today.

Carnegie Deli Hot Pastrami

Yum

Empty Streets NYC

Lunch at the National

The Bar at National

 Over and out!

Missing My Mom

Two years ago this morning, on a sunny, crisp fall day, my Mom died. She was declining for days prior, lying in her bed at the adult family home, family sitting vigil at her bedside. The morning before she died she woke up enough to recognize MM and me before slipping back into a coma of sorts. The next day, she was gone, somewhere around 7:30 to 8 AM.

At that sacred moment of her death, my Dad was in the living room at the home, I was en route, driving and my sister not far behind me in her car. The lovely person  in attendance with Mom at the very moment of her last breath was Yerusalem, a very dear and loving caregiver. I'm so glad it was she who was in attendance. I so wanted to  be there, holding Mom's hand. I will regret always ignoring my instinct to stay the night and coming on home to sleep.  These are things that can never be undone.

Today on my drive to work, drops of rain fell from grey skies. Temperatures were in the low 50's. I thought about Mom and all of life that has been lived since her passing. I longed for her presence here and now. I longed for her advice, her wisdom; especially now when there is so much about my life's plan that has been upended.

I figure I will always miss her. Mom missed her mother decades after her death. This may be a loss from which we never fully recover.

I love you, Mom.

Words Have Power

How true.

Enjoy and be inspired.

He's Meditating on It

Yesterday I shared the news with my 95 year old Dad.

"Laura is pregnant".

A slight, soft smile crossed his face; maybe a small chuckle.

"I guess this means she's getting married", he said.

And then I explained the rest of the story. He was thoughtful,  quiet, absorbing all that I told him. We sat together in silence. He wasn't upset. He wasn't overjoyed. He took it all in. He listened and ate a couple of York peppermint patties.

"I'm meditating.", he said. "I have a lot to think about."

I'll be interested in what his meditation brings forth over the coming weeks. He's such an honest man; honest but also thoughtful.

"She's a beautiful girl that Laura.", he added.



 

When Dad Knows, It's Time for the World to Know.

Hearing aids serviced and best possible operating condition: check

Dad wearing both hearing aids: negative. He was wearing only one

Dad is a reasonably good mood: negative. He was cranky about the sore on his face, aggravated by "the way the girls on for the weekend shave me" and his burned out light bulb with no replacement in sight.

Dad and daughter visiting alone: negative. Laura wanted to go with me to visit her grandfather. "There's nothing else to do and going will distract me". (sigh)

One out of four requisites didn't cut it. Tomorrow may be a better day to let him know our news and be open to his response. I have no clue what he'll say but whatever it is, he'll (probably and hopefully) be honest and say what's on his heart even though he respects privacy (see last post).

"I Don't Know, and I Won't Ask"....

Dad is cool. And here's why I think so....

Sunday we attended the Homecoming church service at SFB. Homecoming service is a big deal because the choir comes out of hibernation, puts on their blue and white choir robes and music abounds. This after a long, dry summer with a soloist here and there and the organist but none of the great anthems we've come to expect over the years. The service was great and Dad thoroughly enjoyed the music and the fanfare.

But, he still can't hear worth a damn despite his hearing aids. That's a topic for a separate discussion entirely. He hears the music because the decibel level is up there. As for the greeting, the sermon, the readings, and the prayers; he's basically stone deaf to it all  that's spoken in church.

During one of the hymns, there's an opportunity to come forward with specific prayer requests. In all my years attending church I've only done this once before; one time when Dad was sick and hospitalized back in 2006. I asked for prayers for his healing and the request was read aloud along with multiple other prayer requests.

This past Sunday, I definitely had something worthy of a prayer or two and so I left my seat with Dad telling him I'd be "right back". I didn't think he even missed me and I certainly didn't think he heard my prayer request. He never mentioned a thing about it.

Until....the next day, Laura and I stopped by to visit him and we got to talking about how lovely the church service had been.

Dad: "Yes, and you got up during the hymn and walked up to one of the ministers."

Me: "Yeah, I had a prayer request. The minister mentioned all the requests during the prayers of the people part of the service. You couldn't hear what she was saying, could you?"

Dad: "No. I couldn't hear anything. I don't know what you were praying for and.....I won't ask".

We laughed and moved right on to another topic of conversation. Dad is very perceptive, even more so it seems in his 90's and at the most unexpected times. He knew there was something on my mind, something that made me want to walk up and talk to a minister with a prayer request but he's never been one to pry. Always willing to listen but he never pushes.

I do intend to share my prayer request with him. He needs to know. And, perhaps he can offer his sage advice which might possibly be...."It'll all turn out OK in the end".

Thanks in advance, Dad.

Resentment vs Guilt

When I visit Dad, as I did today, I.....

1. Ask how he is sleeping.
2. Water his plant
3. Straighten the framed photos on the wall that have slipped out of place
4. Check the candy and Ensure supply
5. Ask about library books; which ones are ready to go back?
6. Check and remark about the updated Exxon Mobil stock quote
7. Clean and change the batteries in his hearing aids.
8. Hand him his 5 pound weight and encourage him to "lift 200 pounds", a hundred with each arm
9. Check the volume on his telephone
10. Let him know when I'll be back next and ask if he wants anything

Today he complained about not getting his eye drops. He also couldn't give me a definitive "yes" about going to church on Sunday and told me to call him back on Sunday morning to decide yay or nay. He wasn't happy about his shoes and couldn't understand why his foot care provider wanted him to get a new pair. He told me Geydon will only let him have 2 peppermint patties a day. He pointed out that the carpet in his room had been professionally cleaned recently. He told me that as soon as I left he was going to get one of the caregivers to take him out for a walk. When I told him he looked good today, he said, "Thank you" and smiled.

Each visit is much the same. He seems to welcome my company but I'm lately feeling as though his world is shrinking smaller. The smallest things are huge for him.

Sometimes battling the snarled up traffic to drive all the way to Northgate and back seems like such a waste of precious time. I wish he were closer.  I spend more time in the car than I do with him. A big bite comes right out of the day when I go to Dad's.  Balancing the feelings of resentment with the guilt of not going when I could or should is rough. Guess which is the worse feeling? Yep...guilt is way worse. Always has been and always will be.

And, tomorrow is another day.