Something in my purse.....

A post entitled "Prompt Tuesday" from San Diego Momma caught my eye today; write 150 words in under ten minutes about something in your purse or wallet. I'm reminded of the richness of purses in the lives of women; beautifully explored in my sister's website Purse Stories.

Here goes.......reader, beware! This one is dark and foreboding.

I keep it in my wallet at all times; have for over a year. Just in case the inevitable happens, which of course it will because death is inevitable, I keep this folded sheet of paper in the flap of my wallet just in front of the flap that holds the dollar bills. The typewritten sheet is my own creation, a succinct summary of what to do and what not to do in the event of their death(s). They have pre-paid for services, an attempt many, many years ago to take the stress off of family when death came to take them from us. The instructions simple, the words harsh on the page, haunting and taunting me, waiting, just waiting for the time and place when they'll come alive to guide me smoothly on the journey I dread.

Ironic perhaps that such detailed planning and preparation went into this phase of existence but seemingly no concern for the long years before death when for both, time has taken from them physical stamina and mental prowess. "Once a man, twice a child" it is said as both extremes of age blend into an oddly similar soup that those living in the middle, as wo"men" carry the weight of responsibility. In my darker days, I make note that death, ultimately, is but a tiny piece of this mammoth proposition.

I keep this paper, folded tightly, in a place where it can never be overlooked and wonder when I'll be called upon to follow its instructions.

Of Funfetti Cakes and My Daughter.....

Yesterday, in search for the miscellaneous stuff on my "get list", I ended up at Bartell Drugstore. My "get list" stuff in hand, I waited at the checkout counter and watched the woman ahead of me. She and her two little daughters, all of four and six years old (I'm guessing) were as cute as buttons. They were buying cake mixes, two to be exact and one was a Funfetti Cake mix.

They weren't in a rush; they were happy to just be, right there in the store living the moments. The woman had a lot of change in her purse and since these cake mixes were on sale for 88 cents, she was able to pay for the two cake mixes with coins. The young girls, probably excited by the prospect of an afternoon of baking and decorating, walked out of the store each with a cake mix in hand.

Time stopped for me, for the briefest moment. The observer, I watched and remembered back to a time when my own were this age. Laura's favorite cake for many years was a Funfetti white cake, infused with multi-colored sweet tidbits. How many Birthdays did we celebrate with this cake as the centerpiece? I could see her, standing beside me at the same checkout counter, close, exuding the same excitement that I saw in those two young girls. A flashback to a very ordinary moment from my past, I was overtaken by a surprising sense of mystery and magic, a feeling that although time sweeps me forward, I'm left with sweet and tender memories that remind me that I was once that young mother with children in tow.

And then my thoughts turned to Ms. Laura with less than a month to go on her sojourn abroad. I ache to put my arms around her and to hold her close again. The Funfetti Cake, the little girl who became a young woman while I was thinking and doing other things, the bittersweet of life, the tremendous gift we are given to love and be loved in this one life.....

One thought into the next.

"I'll go right home and tell Alice...."

I'm still consumed by the wonderful news of my son's engagement to his much loved girlfriend of the past year. In the midst of daily struggles, joy infuses my moments and I'm grateful and thrilled for these two wonderful people.

The night their engagement was official, I was sharing the happiness with my Mom, showing her pictures, and reveling in the unfolding moments, including Chris and Heather's plan to hop on a plane to Orange County for a day of celebration (and fun) at Disneyland. And then, we both had to laugh because an old, quirky, silly memory came to the fore in both of our minds.....

Years ago, I'll say about 41 years ago to be exact, when Mom and Dad lived in Aruba, communications with the "homeland" took the form of cryptic cable-grams and the occasional overseas telephone call received, not at home, but at my Dad's administrative office building. Most cable-grams and phone calls brought news of grave illness or worse yet, death. We hated to be on the receiving end of these calls. But, every now and again, the phone calls brought joyous news; usually the birth of a child.

Dad took a call from Houston in 1968 announcing the birth of his first grandchild, a beautiful little girl named Caroline. Apparently, one of the first people he saw as he left the "GOB" (General Office Building) as we called it, was a friend named Tony Proterra. Dad's joy was effusive; he apparently pulled Tony aside and shared the news of his new status as a Grandfather to a healthy baby girl back in the states. Tony's response? A classic; and one we laugh about to this day and a phrase we use whenever we've got good news to share with the world.....

"I'll go right home and tell Alice....."

I've the image of Alice, his good wife, at home, waiting for news of any kind from stateside, ready to share in the joyful moments and beyond that, to pick up the local phone (which worked just fine) and dial dozens of others to announce proudly that "today Dean became a grandfather!" News traveled fast in the small local community of Americans overseas in Aruba; what was one person's news belonged to everyone by the end of the day.

So world....let it be known that "I'm going right home to tell Alice" about Chris and Heather's engagement. Denny and I are thrilled and behind them with our love and support 100 percent!

Congratulations!

Today is a fabulous day, this 25th day of March 2009!

Our son, Chris proposed to his wonderful girlfriend, Heather today in Walnut Creek, California.
She said yes!
We are delighted, thrilled, and so glad to be spreading the news to our family and friends.

Yahoooooo!

I drove Chris to the airport yesterday morning. Although he usually balks when I whip out my camera to "document" events, he didn't put up any fuss this time. Here he is showing me the ring before tucking it into his carry-on computer bag as we loaded up the car.

Today was the "big day". Gorgeous weather, a picnic in the park, two wonderful people committing themselves to each other. I'm so happy for both of them. Yeah!

Shortly after the engagement was official, both of them updated their "status" boxes on Facebook. I love this picture of them in front of their laptops taking care of business. Check out that ring on Heather's left ring finger! What's been fun is reading all the great messages rolling in from friends and family in joyful celebration for this happy couple.









Heather and Chris, you are much loved!

***some photos courtesy of Heather and Tina!

When to Hold and When to Fold

The Gambler
Kenny Rogers

On a warm summers evenin on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin out the window at the darkness
til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.

He said, son, I've made a life out of readin peoples faces,
And knowin what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
So if you don't mind my sayin, I can see you're out of aces.
For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice.

So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, if you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin when the dealins done.

Now ev'ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin
Is knowin what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
cause ev'ry hands a winner and ev'ry hands a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.

So when he'd finished speakin, he turned back towards the window,
Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.
And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even.
But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin when the dealins done.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin when the dealins done.

---------------------

Amen.

Personal Thought for the Day # 15

Chronic renal failure, with all of its attendant complications, carries a prognosis worse than many types of cancer; avoid it if at all possible.

I have been working all weekend and see with eyes wide open the depth and breadth of this most wicked disease.

Of Malta, the Hypogeum, and Missing Her

The isle of Malta, south of Sicily, an archipelago of small islands really, surrounded by the Mediterranean Sea....this gorgeous place is where she finds herself today. Laura's travels have taken her to so many wonderful places over the past months. Malta sounds intriguing, full of history, archeology, and natural beauty.

Last year at a yoga retreat, we listened and danced to Jennifer Berezan's hauntingly gorgeous piece entitled Returning, 40 minutes of mesmerizing bliss. The first part of the piece was recorded in the Oracle Chamber in the Hypogeum in Malta, a sacred underground space with impressive acoustics.

I've sent her the link to the website in case she has any interest in visiting the Hypogeum. She's heard the CD of Jennifer Berezan's piece but I suspect she never expected she would find herself in Malta. The trip was just planned recently as a nice spring break get-a-way. The weather is apparently lovely in Malta year round, a nice change from the winter coat scene in Dublin and Vienna where she visited most recently.

I miss you, Ms. Laura. I wish you good times in Malta and count the days until your return.