Goodbye 2008

This is my last post on Ahead of the Wave in 2008.

This hasn't been the easiest year for me but I know I'm not alone. Sometimes it seems that the years get tougher all the time despite the accumulation of life experience and (hopefully) wisdom. But, having weathered the rough patches, I'm looking forward to starting anew in 2009. I have gratitude in my heart for life's blessings first and foremost. But, as long as I acknowledge the good, I will allow myself to admit that this was still one "kick butt" year. I'm glad to bid farewell to 2008 even though I welcomed its start with open arms one year ago tonight in my post entitled Goodbye 2007. Ahhhhhh.

Memories of January-November are beginning to fade, especially the not-so-good memories. The good stuff that happened lingers longer and for that I'm grateful. I remember with fondness our trip to Florence, the summer picnic in Discovery Park, Chris and Denny's graduations, Denny's passing the Washington State Bar exam, wonderful meals with family, and most recently favorable jobs for both D and myself, starting January 2009. Yeah!

December 2008, freshest on my mind was a doozie, however. All I can say is, "What a strange month.....Christmas especially."

We have so many family traditions associated with this holiday and many of them just never happened this year. A combination of the weather (snow bound conditions that went on for over a week in Seattle), Mom's admission to the hospital December 23rd, my on-call duties at the hospital, and the fact that Laura was in Scandinavia instead of Seattle during this time made for the oddest Christmas holiday I've ever experienced. Although we had our Christmas meal(s), made holiday treats, trimmed a tree and decked it out with balloons (a Christmas Eve tradition), we weren't able to pull off the gathering of the clan so to speak. No Christmas pudding, lit with 151 proof rum and dressed with foamy sauce, made it to the communal table this year. There was never an opportunity with all of us spread out across the city, fighting weather and other obstacles. We'll just have to save this for next year. I'm glad that many of us were able to gather at Jeanne and Dan's home on the 28th for Texas tamales, Aruban pastechies, homemade bean soup, pecan pie and Carrie's infamous "cake-tops" with vanilla ice cream.

Tonight as the year draws to a close, Denny and I will open a bottle of champagne in a quiet house. Both of our children are miles and miles away tonight; one in St. Petersburg, Russia and the other in Walnut Creek, California. I'm hoping my sister comes over to share the bottle with us; she won't be in town too much longer and I'd like to spend more time in my living room talking with her and admiring our Christmas tree. The season is soon to end.

Let's chill out and enjoy the unfolding moments by living more in the present as our cat, Boo does perched under the tree taking in the last of this holiday season.

Wishing everyone a great start to 2009!
And, no more snow!

The Mind's Eye

Sometimes there's no photograph to document the moment but the memory remains so brilliant that it burns into the mind's eye forever. That's what happened to me on Christmas Day when I hiked "through the woods" to get to the snowed in Pearly Jones family home to see Dad in the late afternoon.

He had said over the phone, "Don't worry about me; I'm fine right where I am and all is well. I'll see you when the weather is better. Don't risk getting over here."

But, see him I did and am glad of it. I so wish I'd had my camera but in some ways remembering is all the more sweet for lack of a visual reminder archived away in my photo collection or shown on this blog post.

My 91 year old father was sitting in the family room next to "John", one of his housemates. They were watching TV while the others were gathered around the kitchen table drinking tea and eating cookies. He wasn't expecting me to show up and in the waning light of a snowy, chilly day his face lit up when he saw me walk through the door; it was almost like he didn't recognize me at first. But then...., he did. He was dressed in a button down white shirt and his red vest looking dapper and festive and decidedly well. I'll never, ever forget that image, his smile and the joy on his face.

"Merry Christmas, Dad", I said.
"Oh my", he said. "It's Kitty Kat."

And we went on from there. The moments were magic. Treasured. His and mine. Together.

This may have been the sweetest moment of the most unusual Christmas Day I've ever lived.

The Day Before Christmas

I am blessed. This Christmas I simply have to look a bit deeper to know that love abounds despite the struggles, hurdles, and challenges that are life right now. "It is what it is..." seems the appropriate descriptor for this week in late December 2008.

Early this morning as snow was falling (again), I looked out in the backyard and saw several birds hopping from branch to branch in the apple tree, pecking ravenously at the few withered apples hanging on limbs covered with a dusting of snow. The scene reminded me that life and living go on. It's all there for the taking if we only stop to listen and see.

I'm grateful today for Christmas and the gathering of family even though our celebrations will be very different this year. Chris is home and we'll enjoy a traditional Christmas Eve dinner tonight; just the three of us as Laura is abroad on a holiday tour of Scandinavia. She called today, the connection clear and her voice comforting. We will miss her presence. Our thoughts and prayers are also with Mom who was readmitted to the hospital yesterday. Adding to the challenge is this crazy cold snap bringing snow and ice. Clearly we'll be celebrating bits of Christmas for days as we do the best we can to coordinate the comings and goings of family amidst inclement weather conditions. This is not what we had planned but a gentle reminder that despite what rolls our way, we can adjust and make the best of the situation. The joy comes in seeing what's right and accepting the things that cannot be changed.

And so, unlike yesterday, I'm now listening to my Christmas music as I sit in the living room by the decorated tree. There are four stockings hanging by the fireplace; even though you aren't here Laura, we have your stocking in its rightful place and we hold you closely in our hearts.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night!

The Day Before the Day Before

Today's the day before the day before Christmas. The tree is decorated, the miniature porcelain winter village lines the buffet, the holiday cards are taped to the fireplace, the Santa photos of the kids from years past line the mantel and there's lots of snow outside. Lots. Since housebound by the weather, I've made holiday cookies, candy, and yesterday prepared the dough for the sweet rolls that we always eat for breakfast on Christmas morning. The Christmas pudding is thawing ready to be "re-molded" and steamed for our (tentative) family gathering on the 25th at the Arapahoe house. Sounds like things are status quo, no? Not.

This year is different; I'm not playing any Christmas music. Handel's Messiah CD sits in its case alongside all the other Christmas CDs because I just can't go there; the sounds of the season make me want to cry. Music carries great power at this time of year, always full of emotion but this year so raw edged that I can't listen to any of the traditional carols without remembering Mom. Her incredible talent as a choral conductor, especially at Christmas, is such a bittersweet memory for me right now. Instead of remembering the superlative musician she was, I feel a deep sadness for all the pain in her life right now. The music of the season brings all the emotion right out there.

We remain (relatively) snowed in. The Seattle paper today had a front page story about the insane way our fair city deals with snow and ice. They refuse to use salt on the roads; instead they spread a light dusting of sand and "plough" with a rubber blades to compress the snow rather than scrape it off to the side. How nuts is that? The snow is so laden with moisture here that overnight it freezes into a sheet of ice. Couple that with lots of hills and residential areas that never see a city snow plough and you've got miserable driving conditions. We managed to get out yesterday, sweeping a foot of snow of my car and driving ever so slowly into the village to buy food. The grocery store was packed with people doing the same. I haven't ventured out yet today but really need to get over to see Mom and Dad. They live on a hill also. I may have to park at the base and walk up. No sign of a real thaw for several more days say the forecasters.

My sister arrives from Houston shortly; where she'll spend the night is up in the air right now. The weather will dictate her choice. We need to make some tough decisions today. We are children of elderly parents, one of whom is struggling with issues that have no good answers, particularly at holiday time. Yet, make decisions we must.

I've spent the morning distracting myself with these sweet rolls which have turned out quite well. This is only my second year making them; Mom has always been the sweet roll lady but the baton has now passed to me. I did ask for her advice this morning by phone and she was able to rally. They are now iced and ready to go but we'll save them for Christmas morning. I'll try to deliver a pan to Mom and Dad as they may enjoy them too.

The day before the day before Christmas is here whether I want it to be or not.

SUX

Feeling like it's my time to whine, I'll take advantage right now. It's my blog, right?

Four days till Christmas. It'll be a strange one this year with Laura abroad, my Mom in the hospital (she might be out by then, weather permitting), and minimal shopping done as we decided we'd go very light on gifts this year. And then there's the snow, more than I've ever witnessed in Seattle in my 17 years here. Granted we'll have a White Christmas which might be quaint but getting out in this weather is pure treachery. I'm worried about the pipes freezing at my parent's former home and will make my way over there on foot today to check it out.

My daughter leaves on her Christmas tour of Scandinavia and Russia tomorrow, hasn't packed yet and is entrenched in the natural anxieties of being so far from home at a time of year when families are supposed to be together. We "talked" for an hour this morning on Skype instant message. Angst.

My Mom is in the hospital again. Even if she were ready for discharge, there's no way to get her back home owing to the weather conditions. Do you pay an ambulance to take someone home? Who knows? I've never been in this situation before.

I have to work tomorrow but suspect that all the scheduled patients but one will cancel out. So I will make my way in on the bus because I'm supposed to be there. I'm on call on Christmas Day and the day after but by then the weather should be better. Hoping.

I don't feel in any kind of holly jolly Holiday Season mood.

Bookended. That's my favorite word right now. A homesick daughter and a mother who is seeing birds flying in circles out her hospital window. Maybe if I look harder, I'll see them too. I want so much to be free as they are, to fly.

Sux.

Snow Bound

Hunkered down in the midst of a series of very atypical Seattle storms that hit one after the other, we remain snow bound inside the house for the third day. In 17 years I've never seen anything like this in our usually rainy, balmy city. If it snows, the melt off comes quickly and we are back to the usual overcast and cold drizzle with occasional sun breaks. Our thermometer read 17.6 degrees outside this morning, 62.8 inside (we are dressing warm).

Yesterday there was a near miss downtown as two buses spun out near the freeway. Fortunately, all the passengers got off the buses with only scrapes and bruises. I can only imagine the tragedy that was avoided had the buses gone over the edge onto traffic. Quite a scary scene to be sure. Chris described mayhem in his hilly neighborhood last night as a Suburban attempted to make it up a steep hill, spun out, and hit two cars parked curbside. Making it worse was the driver who just kept going. Chris and his buddy got the plate number and called the police. Then, when the police car arrived, another car headed up the same hill, spun out and hit the cop car! At that point, they closed the road.

So, as you can see, I'm not eager to get out on the roads today (even in a bus!). The roads are a disaster. Seattle is never prepared and neighborhood roads are forgotten. I tried to take the bus yesterday, stood at the stop around the corner from our house for 20 minutes and finally gave up. The sidewalks and roadways are like sheets of ice. The forecasters warn that sometime tonight another arctic blast plus high winds will hit and dump another load of snow on the Puget Sound area. Dang it!

Thankfully we have enough food, a warm fire, and a cat to keep us company. He's (of course) glued to Denny's chest although he occasionally ventures outside as evidenced by his little prints in the snow.

Let it Snow

Oh my....we are in the midst of a blizzard, Seattle style. Yesterday it snowed to our north and to our south but the Seattle metro area was spared. We mocked the forecasters who had us all hyped up about the weather but today...it's a different story. Around 4 AM it started to snow in Seattle and it hasn't quit. From our front door it looks like 4-6 inches so far. We are home bound and watching the news on TV. I had to cancel my two scheduled outings today; one was a lunch date with a good friend. She lives 30 miles to the north and got hit hard yesterday and can't get out either. I'm nervous about my commute to work tomorrow. We're expecting sunshine but temperatures will not be above freezing and that means ICE. Guess I'll end up taking the bus into downtown and then will walk "up the hill".

Last night Chris was over for dinner and we decorated the Christmas tree. Thinking of Laura 5000 miles to the east in Florence while we trimmed the tree was tough. This is the first time she's been away for the holidays. I hung a lot of her favorite ornaments, some with her name on them and put her stocking by the fireplace. We really miss you, Laura! (but we know that you have a magnificent winter trip to Denmark, Sweden, Finland, and Russia coming up). As you can see, Chris and Denny got rather silly as the evening wore on but all in good fun.

Glad that Mom and Dad both made it to their doctor's appointments yesterday while the weather was decent. They're now keeping warm and watching the snow fall from their great view to the southeast looking over downtown, the Space Needle and the white out that is Mt. Rainier.

We'll stay put today. I'm determined to make some Christmas cookies; we don't have anything sweet to snack on. Pecan balls and spice cookies tempt me. To all in the Pacific NW, be safe out there if you venture out! Season's Greetings!