Dreams of Regret

Dreams have themes. For me, a recurrent theme is struggle under pressure. I'm trying to get something done and find myself thwarted at every turn. Throw in the bizarre, a commonality of most dreams, and a non-nightmare can seem nightmarish. The disturbing threads pieced together make for a crazy quilt which sticks with me well into the morning. Even more mysterious to me is that unless written down, the intensity of the dream dissolves quickly, like a fog that lifts exposing sunshine.

Last night's foray into madness bubbled into consciousness as I lay in bed guzzling coffee. My mind was focused on blasting out what is now day #4 of a morning migraine; strong coffee will sometimes do the trick. Suddenly, I recalled the dream. The theme was different; I'd say more along the lines of: regret, for a dumb decision.

from the movie, The Road

Dusty dream, black and white, like Cormac McCarthy's The Road
Laura is getting married but we aren't attending the wedding
Even her fiance who resists ceremony is not attending, choosing to spend his time with Denny and me as we drive and walk about a landscape unfamiliar, exploring on foot and in a car
Our reasons for being elsewhere on a such an important day remain unexplored
Free of concerns we move forward
There are animals, small creatures, who may be our pets
Out of control they frolic about eating wet tissues
My guilt for not being present at my daughter's wedding surfaces, gaining strength
Why did I make such a foolish decision?
I'm overwhelmed with sadness. The fiance and Denny seem oblivious
We stumble upon an ancient woman in a wooden shack
A wise soothsayer resting on a shabby chaise
She attracts these small animals of ours; they nestle into her sagging neck
I explain my grief to her; she has nothing to say
Nothing that will explain why I am not standing with my daughter on her special day
Regrets. Regrets that cannot be undone


Ms. Laura: I promise I'll be the proud mother at your wedding. Who knows where this dream came from? Weddings  must be on my mind.

Marching through March

These caught my eye; a sassy shoe from Cole Haan. What a great way to get the month of March off the ground. Wish I had a pair of these. Where would I wear them? Blogher 2010 in NYC? Perhaps. Certainly not around here. Hmmmm.