Paycheck to Paycheck

Laura and I shared a girl's night out Monday evening taking in dinner and Sex and the City (fun movie by the way). True to the HBO series, the movie was punctuated by Carrie Bradshaw's running commentary with her ever familiar phrases like, "I had to wonder...." and "Meanwhile....". I've always liked that about the show; Carrie seems to translate all of life's events into fodder for her writing.

My own "I had to wonder...." thoughts often come to me in the car as I drive, usually on my way to work through downtown city streets. Today was rainy, chilly, misty and my thoughts took me back to the Yoga Weekend. And then, that thought morphed quickly into my walk from car to building yesterday morning. I must have had a quick, light step because a critical care doc walking behind me said, "Good morning, Doctor Kate; you seem quite energetic today". Indeed. I shared that I had spent the weekend at a yoga retreat and he remarked, "Ahhh, no wonder." A few more shared words about how such a treat might re-arrange the stuck, trodden down, rote ways and enliven the spirit (he got it) transpired between us. But then he knowingly mused, "This too shall pass."

Yep this too has passed. Far too quickly the bits of magic from my weekend float away from my grasp and into the archives of my mind resting in the folder entitled "the peace that was". Perhaps they will burst forth again, allowing me to harness the benefits of those days of rejuvenation. I seem to have blown the entire wad in one day. I have to wonder, why do I live from emotional paycheck to emotional paycheck? Why can't I get a decent balance in the account so it doesn't go dry so fast? I already know the answer: the deposits need to keep on coming in even if they are small and more importantly, the withdrawals need to slow way down.

P.S. This is my 200th post on Ahead of the Wave. I'm proud of that. I also know that each post is a deposit of sorts into that account that nourishes my soul.