This Christmas was so strange; unlike any other in my memory. Although we stuck to our typical traditions, we never had a "gathering of the clan" as I like to say. No Christmas pudding, ignited with 151 Rum, brought from the kitchen on a serving platter, blue flames lighting up the darkened room with cheers all around. I really missed those moments.
Although I doubt Mom and Dad had this thought, I certainly did: this was the first Christmas in all of Mom's 91 years that she didn't re-live this tradition and for Dad, 67 years of marriage came with the same number of holiday puddings. Sigh. This photo is from Christmas 2007 as my sister and Mom prepared the foamy yellow sauce for the gathered clan. I'm hoping she has another chance to do this again.Now we are into the New Year. Mom is out of the hospital as of yesterday. We enjoyed a celebratory cake and coffee when she arrived home and a banner just inside the door said, "Welcome Home Doris". She is better. Dad is better. I'm grateful.
Mom mentioned yesterday, "My, I haven't done any Christmas shopping this year; the time got away from me."
I responded, " That's all OK, Mom. Christmas has come and gone and you don't need to worry about it anymore." And as we often say in our family once the day has passed, "Christmas is as far away as it will ever be." I got a chuckle out of Mom on this one; maybe some relief knowing she wouldn't have to think about things Holiday for awhile.
And so today, as I sit in my living room enjoying the last bit of what was Christmas, I'm accepting of where my life is right now. "It is what it is.", as my sister reminded me many times over the last two weeks. We move forward from here. In 2009, I'm going to focus on what brings me JOY and pursue that with more vigor. That's my New Year's plan. Stay tuned for my idea of JOY. I'll probably be writing about it on this blog off and on.
Goodbye Holidays. Happy 2009.
Excellent. I'm glad she was able to come home and enjoy the smell of the tree, even though the holiday had passed. My mom spent Christmas with Brother Three and his family. And your sentiment "It is what it is" is a good mantra.
ReplyDeleteWhen I talked with Mom and she was grousing about being bored at her place and the food being mediocre, and I had a flash of silent annoyance but then reminded myself that a year ago she had also been bored, and complained about the food (not being able to find her favorite frozen dinner at Kroger) but that what's different now is she's with people and being cared for and is in a safe environment.
So glad to hear your mom is out of the hospital and feeling better. My house is quiet this week. I have left the tree up to retain a bit of the holidays for a while longer.
ReplyDeleteI'm still missing that Christmas pudding and sauce.
ReplyDeleteOhhh, I can't tell you how totally I relate to this post. My father passed away in March after 5 long years of struggle and my mother is still there, at 87, with 2-3 caregivers round the clock, on her 13th year of dementia. When I go home, after the holidays now so I can have a holiday of my own, I sit in the house with the tree up and the ornaments she made, feeling that strange space between the memories of what was and what for us will never be again.
ReplyDeleteIt does stir up in me the intense desire to LIVE in the now, and find the joy there for the taking, while I'm healthy and still have my marbles (at least I think I do, lol). There is much internal richness and lots of conflicting feelings -- I embrace them both and it sounds like you experience that too -- about being in the middle of life. The 20 year olds on one side, just starting their lives (actually, a place I'm not sure I'd want to be at again) and the 80/90 year olds on the other side, with all they go through (and all the questions, longings, etc if brings up in quiet moments).
I thought you captured this brilliantly! Thanks for finding my blog so I could find yours!
I love your New Year resolution. I am trying to get to that place of JOY in my life as well. I am also focusing on living a healthier lifestyle- the people, exercise, the food, you name it. All the toxins out of my life, so to speak. Good luck!
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