Goodbye Merrill Gardens

Moving from one dwelling to another is upheaval. From the endless preparations (engaging movers, making decisions about what to take and where to place it, change of address, new telephone and notification of friends/family) through the actual moving day, the process is as much emotional as it is physical, if not more so. Tomorrow Mom and Dad will leave their two bedroom retirement apartment at MG, a place they have called home for the last 18 months and move to an assisted living facility in north Seattle. The two adjacent rooms connected by a bathroom are considerably smaller, more institutional and less private. But, the hope is that they can remain together as their physical needs for care increase. We've all accepted that this move must happen and that our choice, although not perfect, is (probably) the best among the options. None of us debates the obvious fact that this move is highly symbolic and painful. The losses associated with physical and mental aging are heartbreaking to witness. What must it be like for Mom and Dad?

When I left their apartment at MG on Sunday afternoon it didn't strike me that this would be my last image of them in the place they've called home since August 2006. Although both JT and I have done "prep work" for this move, MM will supervise the actual process tomorrow. We three were clever in crafting the plans; teamwork at its best with each assigned to parts of the whole. More than once I've described our work during the month of March as a symphony with the conductor changing chairs with the first and second violin seamlessly.

And so, when I bid my goodbye to Mom and Dad several days ago, I turned to face their small living room from the doorway as I've done dozens of times. "Bye, see you later", I said. Dad, whose chair faces the door lifted his right hand in a wave, a small but familiar smile crossed his face and I let myself recognize this as his way of saying "thanks" to me for whatever small or large gift my presence there had been. I won't get to experience this in exactly the same way at their new "home" but perhaps there will be something else that comes forth. I will miss that little apartment at MG, so nicely appointed with their lovely furnishings. But, their time in this place draws to a close and we all move ahead to the next stage. MM described this experience today as moving in a current of water. This is a swift current and moving along is all we can do; it won't be possible to resist.