Saturday, June 19, 2010
Some days just feel odd. Today counts as perfect example of an unfocused, restless block of time where nothing quite needs to be done but there's plenty of "stuff" waiting, stacking up, sitting there. Up at just past six AM today; my night was less than restful. Now, just after mid-day, I'm wondering what I can do to cheer myself up.
I've done a bit of reading (great book, this one...."Cutting for Stone") but I can't read it for long; it's one to be savored. Heavy, full of thoughts worthy of ponder.
I've run some errands; to the bank, post office, a Father's Day card purchase, box of candy (for Dad), popcorn (for Mom), and Kleenex for both. I'm always buying tissues because even though the adult family home provides Mom and Dad an ample supply, they use them up quickly and they're asking me to outfit them with boxes in multiple locations throughout the house. Stopped by a church rummage sale on the way home and picked up a cool wine rack for 2 bucks. Now I'm now doing laundry, sorting the the recycling, checking emails, reading blogs on line and on it goes.
Restlessness consumes me. Dread wants to creep into my peace of mind. Worry wants to partner with me big time. Guilt is my best friend sometimes.
Part of it is the two hour Father's Day party I'll attend later this afternoon to honor my Dad. Would it be bad of me to say I don't want to go? But, go I will.
Part of it is that we're seen mid June come and go; summer solstice is coming. For years the transition into days that become shorter instead of longer leaves me saddened even though summer's best is yet to come. Dumb.
Part of it is the desire to flee from hard work and drama when that's what life wants to throw my way just now.
Part of it is..... on and on and on....it matters little when there is so much about my life that is wonderful.