The Day Before the Day Before

Today's the day before the day before Christmas. The tree is decorated, the miniature porcelain winter village lines the buffet, the holiday cards are taped to the fireplace, the Santa photos of the kids from years past line the mantel and there's lots of snow outside. Lots. Since housebound by the weather, I've made holiday cookies, candy, and yesterday prepared the dough for the sweet rolls that we always eat for breakfast on Christmas morning. The Christmas pudding is thawing ready to be "re-molded" and steamed for our (tentative) family gathering on the 25th at the Arapahoe house. Sounds like things are status quo, no? Not.

This year is different; I'm not playing any Christmas music. Handel's Messiah CD sits in its case alongside all the other Christmas CDs because I just can't go there; the sounds of the season make me want to cry. Music carries great power at this time of year, always full of emotion but this year so raw edged that I can't listen to any of the traditional carols without remembering Mom. Her incredible talent as a choral conductor, especially at Christmas, is such a bittersweet memory for me right now. Instead of remembering the superlative musician she was, I feel a deep sadness for all the pain in her life right now. The music of the season brings all the emotion right out there.

We remain (relatively) snowed in. The Seattle paper today had a front page story about the insane way our fair city deals with snow and ice. They refuse to use salt on the roads; instead they spread a light dusting of sand and "plough" with a rubber blades to compress the snow rather than scrape it off to the side. How nuts is that? The snow is so laden with moisture here that overnight it freezes into a sheet of ice. Couple that with lots of hills and residential areas that never see a city snow plough and you've got miserable driving conditions. We managed to get out yesterday, sweeping a foot of snow of my car and driving ever so slowly into the village to buy food. The grocery store was packed with people doing the same. I haven't ventured out yet today but really need to get over to see Mom and Dad. They live on a hill also. I may have to park at the base and walk up. No sign of a real thaw for several more days say the forecasters.

My sister arrives from Houston shortly; where she'll spend the night is up in the air right now. The weather will dictate her choice. We need to make some tough decisions today. We are children of elderly parents, one of whom is struggling with issues that have no good answers, particularly at holiday time. Yet, make decisions we must.

I've spent the morning distracting myself with these sweet rolls which have turned out quite well. This is only my second year making them; Mom has always been the sweet roll lady but the baton has now passed to me. I did ask for her advice this morning by phone and she was able to rally. They are now iced and ready to go but we'll save them for Christmas morning. I'll try to deliver a pan to Mom and Dad as they may enjoy them too.

The day before the day before Christmas is here whether I want it to be or not.