Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Surprisingly Calm but on the Brink

With all the stuff on my plate I'm rather surprised by the calm. No panic. No tears. The strength comes from a place unknown.

Mom left the hospital to return to the adult family home yesterday. I have no idea how her night went; almost too afraid to inquire. I'll see her tonight.

How is my Dad holding up? Again, an unknown.

Why would this be the week I am the on call hospital doctor with 15 patients? Last night I was at work until 9 PM with two very sick patients taxing my brain. Today, I start all over again.

My daughter is miserable: "I hate my job, I hate my life." Great words to hear when there is so little I can do but listen and listening time is a rare commodity right now.

Denny is out of town on business; back today but leaves again tomorrow.

Too many questions. No answers.

Moving forward. My eyes are dry which tells me something. I'm on auto pilot.


  1. Going through a down phase myself today. My mother got another one of those vertigo attacks after 3and a half months this time. It was mild, but I thought such attacks would at least stop with medication. My sister Rita was also sacked from her job several months ago and she and four other colleagues sacked at the same time are suing for unfair dismissal. And I am worried how my husband is going to find a job to be able to stay with me in Germany (where I now live)and if not, will have to leave my mother with her health problem. Looking at your wave picture, I remember baby lagoon and looking for sea urchins as a child. The beautiful image helps me. Tina

  2. I have been thinking of you, Kate, and sending you Metta Loving Kindness:
    May you be safe,
    May you be healthy and strong,
    May you be happy,
    May you be peaceful and at ease.

    You can say it for the ones you love, and it helps to say it for yourself, too. I wish you peace.


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