I'm plowed under; emotionally and physically beat. This has been a butt of a week.
I'm beginning to feel as though this so-called 0.8 time is a joke; it's every bit full-time by the hours and probably more. I'm off on Mondays but Tuesday-Friday I'm working 8-9 hours with 2 hours plus on the computer at home every evening cleaning up work that I couldn't finish while at the office. Paperwork is strangling me or better said, computer documentation is claiming my life, infiltrating into my home time, my me-time and on and on.
Complain, complain. Yes, I'll complain.
We're short staffed at work; there are too few doctors for the volume and complexity of our patients. We're short staffed with office personnel who seem to be calling in sick regularly. Today I had another migraine headache; my third this week. Pop an imitrex and get to work. Go. Just. Do. It. It really bugs me that not all on our team share in the work ethic and think nothing of leaving us in the lurch to make do without them. Call me intolerant, demanding, and wed to unattainable ideals of teamwork. I am. That, I am.
I've seen so many patients this week they're blending together, their complexities and individual issues jumbled into a ball of pain. Once dictated, the details implode. Thank goodness for a medical record. I have to remind myself to never, ever walk into an exam room "cold". The prior notes need scrutiny or else the first five minutes of the encounter is me trying to cover up my confusion and seeming lack of sharpness. I cover well but inside the landscape is really scary.
I've got the next three days away from work. Can I keep myself disengaged or will there be this insane and unhealthy pull to log back on and work remotely, to get ahead of the wave of work coming my way next week? Oh, my God but I'm weary.
The problem is....once I get a bit of time away from work, my focus shifts to my Dad and his social needs. He needs me to visit, to be his daughter, to take him to church, to just be there for him.
I'm strangling.
Meantime, I'm trying to get in shape for the Triathlon. That's a good thing because whenever I can drag my sorry ass through a workout, I feel better instantly.
Where's the balance? How can I navigate this terrain without as we say, "shorting out" big time? I've been there, done that and it wasn't good.
I'm trying. I'm trying.
It's hard to navigate with that much going on. I was talking to my daughter this week about the options she's weighing about where to go into practice. I mentioned the change in your schedule to her, and she said that's full time! Training for the Triathlon may be the best thing you can do for yourself. May you find time to rest and recoup this weekend ~
ReplyDeleteI sighed a big sigh for you and commiserate with you about the work ethic thing. It is the most frustrating thing I deal with at work (a veterinary hospital). I can handle most anything except (the younger) people I work with who text, play crossword puzzles, and watch others work. I have never worked for a vet who was a good manager, and so managed the last practice I worked at and said never again. That is one reason I went from being a tech to a manager to a tech and now am 'just' doing reception-intake and discharge-and that is the part of the job I love, helping someone take better care of their cat.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me feel old to say, but I am not sure these next generations will have the work ethic we do, because culture accepts they don't need to. There have been many article written about this, even one in the Vet Tech ezine I subscribe to (and which we get at work too, but guess who doesn't read it...)
http://myevt.com/news/generations-workplace
I hear you Kate - hang in there. And try to stay away from work on your off hours - it will always be there and take as much as you offer. Insatiable.
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