Thursday, April 10, 2008

Sorrow's Kitchen

When Oprah announced her most recent book club selection, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle, I was ready. I loved his earlier book, The Power of Now; the concept of surrendering to the present moment resonated with me. However, as is typical, the inner revolution never quite gets off the ground. Or, if it does, the next time I'm conscious I find myself back at the beginning, seemingly oblivious to all the lessons I thought I'd learned. The good advice, the new ways of "seeing" and behaving make sense to me in the moment but as I try to live the words on a consistent (even semi-consistent) basis, it's a no-go. This is extremely frustrating, especially now when I am in such need of surrender and a healthy dose of conscious living. What I've discovered is that the real work (duh) is not the fact that the concepts resonate with me or that I begin to see things differently. The real work is the constant recognition that falling back into old patterns is predictable and ok, that forgiving oneself and getting back on the path is the only way to move ahead. Again. Again. And, again.

These last two days I've done everything BUT live in the moment. I feel like one of my favorite book titles (never have read the book, just love the title) : I've Been in Sorrow's Kitchen and Licked out all the Pots. How great is that? The title would imply stewing over the past but I've not really been doing that; I'm stewing over the future and the "what is" of my present. These kitchen pots are a mess. Eckhart Tolle would say that I'm living an ego-driven life and am destined to live out my "pain body" unless I can shift my consciousness into the state where I can accept that all these negative thoughts are NOT WHO I AM.

Right now I want to plop right down in "Sorrow's Kitchen" and examine all those grungy pots. It's a comfortable and familiar place. So there, Mr. Tolle. But, I'll come back into the fold a bit later because from a very deep place of knowing, I believe that you are correct.

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