Today is Dad's 91st Birthday. He was born on February 8, 1917 in Lisbon, New York. His mother, Shirley made the trip back "home" from Saskatchewan by train so that her first born could enter the world on U.S. soil. I wonder if some of Dad's innate love of travel, adventure, and the "out there" came from experiences early on. Whimsical thinking perhaps on my part, but I wonder.What must 91 years feel like to him? He is often a man of few words these days. His facial expressions give me more information about what might be in his mind than what he says. I know he's pleased about our plans for today; Thai food from his favorite restaurant brought in for lunch and a banana cream pie that Ineke will make "from scratch".
Yesterday it felt weird to stand in front of the Birthday Card rack at Bartells and pick out a card for Mom to give him. I had asked her earlier this week: "Do you want a funny card or a serious card?". "Serious", she said. That made it a tougher job; what type of serious card did she want for her mate of nearly 67 years? I selected a card and bought him a box of See's creams for her to give him. He will be touched, I'm sure.
What does one give a 91 year old man for his Birthday? Dad has never been one who has expected gifts or fanfare so in some senses, a gift or no gift wouldn't matter. But, I did come across a book of Andy Rooney's essays that I thought he'd like; they are short and pithy as only Andy can be. Dad has always enjoyed 60 Minutes and still watches faithfully every Sunday night. That, and a 12 pack of Heineken with a can of cashews will be appreciated. My card to him is silly, a bit off color, and one I couldn't resist. I still try very hard to make my Dad laugh and most of the time, I'm able, even now.
I think back and remember.....18 months ago when Dad was so sick that I couldn't imagine he'd survive. That illness coupled with the three or four times this past year when he's had pneumonia and looked so bad physically made me feel down to my bones that this would be "it" for him. And, yet; here is Dad. "He's a tough old bird", has come out of Mom's mouth more than once in response to my amazement.
It strikes me that he has found peace or a least negotiated an acceptance of his life as it is right now. He doesn't fight it; he may not like it but he accepts it with grace and dignity. Am I missing the boat here? Is he really fighting an interior battle but showing calm on the outside? I don't think so. I truly believe that he is in a good place emotionally. He has things that he still enjoys and enjoy them he does, without regret or question.
To my Dad at 91 today, I love you and admire you. You continue to teach me about living well, no matter what the age or stage.
*** Here are some photos from our lunch and dessert celebration today. We all had a great time together.
Happy birthday to my old school principal and teacher! He was a role model for many of us; I wish that today's educators could have taken lessons from him. Dean's even temper and command of a classroom or a meeting became an expected thing and it was easy to give him the respect that he deserved.
ReplyDeleteThankyou for being my teacher, Dean.. you are appreciated beyond words.
I know your parents have gone through so much the last few years, but they look wonderful in your photos. They do look happy! Even though there have been so many transitions for each of you, I'm so glad that you have had the opportunity to spend time with them and them with you. That is a true blessing and you'll savor that always. Tell your dad happy birthday for me, Kate! Say hi to your mom, too. She is a dear and I still remember those wonderful blackberry pies!
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely day. And how beautifully you wrote about it all. And so many photos. A real treat and wish I could have been right there in the middle of it all. Thanks you for making Dad's day really fine.
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