“Each day, we’re given many opportunities
to open up or shut down.
The most precious opportunity presents itself when we come to the place
where we think we can’t handle whatever is happening.”
Many days I get to the point where I seemingly "can't handle" what's in front of me. Many times it's trivial, little things that frustrate me to no end. Othertimes it is bigger stuff, ongoing issues that stick to my hide with tenacious attraction and periodically cut loose with an intensity that locks me into a "no win" view of the situation and a strong desire to be anywhere else, preferably in an altered state of some kind or at least in some other physical setting.
I won't go into details but this weekend has been difficult for me. I'm walking the ledge where I feel so limited in my abilities to "handle" what's on my plate. The biggest learning for me is that there is no right answer, there is no going forth without pain, there is no easy way, and yet there is also value in surrender, in asking for help and in allowing wisdom to bubble forth from that place deep within and connected to the divine. I continue to pray for my parents in a formless way; mostly because I don't know what to pray for, only that there be peaceful intention in every step.
Pema suggests that in these moments we open up; break open our hearts and simply feel all that is there. It is harder than it sounds. I'm sitting in the midst of scenarios that seem fraught with delay, indecision, uncertainty, and down to the bone sadness. "This too shall pass" is of some comfort but I also know that these feelings will come again, and again, at least as long as there are so many options and so much at stake.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Leave a comment!