Thursday

Thursday, the last day of January 2008, ticks away. This month has passed quickly but then they all seem to zip by at record pace. I am "off" today but thinking ahead to my next 4 1/2 days of work with some dread, unable to just let it all go and enjoy the present moment. It is cold but bright outside; I should be out there walking briskly instead of sitting here eating cookies and drinking water infused with vitamin C and glucosamine/chondroitin. But, it's cozy here by the fireplace with the "fake logs" fueled by natural gas glowing and creating some warmth in this drafty house of mine. The cat sleeps by my side and music plays in the background. I've swept the hardwood floors, made the bed, and vacuumed the downstairs carpets/rugs. Lunch was a hardboiled egg and dessert, of course....cookies from Costco that have me hooked. Deceptively light they make me feel that eating a half dozen is nothing at all. Ahhhhhh.

I got the word from my sports med doc yesterday that the best fix for the torn cartilage in my right knee is arthroscopic surgery. I don't have to do it; it's just that my knee will continue to hurt me in certain positions if I don't take this step. If I wasn't so invested in being a mid-life athlete, I'd say "what's the point?" but as I'm trying to stay fit and know this knee thing will interfere, I guess I'll go ahead. But when? When is the best time for this sort of aggravation? Recovery is quick, not like a ligament injury they say. I'll have to pull out the calendar and work around spring break, work schedules and Mom and Dad's needs.

I'm reading today; hoping to finish up a really weird book I picked up last month called The Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeier. It isn't my typical pick but this futuristic bit of fiction caught my eye in the bookstore. It's pretty good and based on the premise that when we die we go to a place where we keep living (sort of) until the last of those who knew us on earth also die. Then, we pass on into another "beyond".

Browsing around Magnolia's Bookstore today I also picked up What is the What by Dave Eggers. The book is a fictionalized account of a Sudanese youth (one of the Lost Boys) who braved all odds to find freedom (?) in the United States. This one received excellent reviews and is a bookclub selection (joined a new bookclub recently) for later this year. I also bought Eckhart Tolle's, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. Sure, it's an Oprah pick but I've read his other book, The Power of Now which was enlightening even if the message evaporated quickly. I have read so many of these inspiring books, hoping that one will stick on me like super glue. I figure it will take more than just reading to actually incorporate these states of being into my everyday life. A little here, a little there; would that it would add up to something bigger. I will try again.

I also passed the clothing store in Magnolia Village this morning and stood mesmerized by a red dress (just in time for Valentine's Day?) in the window. Although the color and the fabric are the same as my red dress, this one has a covered back but a charming criss cross front. A more sedate style, certainly much more appropriate for my stage in life. This makes me sad. I don't think this red dress of mine will every make another showing unless it's to dust the house or run in the Valentine's Day Dash (I made that up but my red dress could certainly double as a great sports top coupled with a pair of red or black tights. Ha! Guess my back can only be out there legitimately if I'm at the pool, at the beach, or running a race.

And so, I'm done with my musing for this sunny but cold and windy late January day. Things are a rumblin'. There's work to be done both inside and out. Life's a mystery. Open up those sleepy eyes and witness.