The Truth of it is....

I've given the content of this post quite a bit of brain power (it has been swirling in my head for months) but am not entirely sure that with all this cogitating, the piece will ever get written unless I just type away. Now. Existing in nascent form, I've attempted to create some excitement (even humor) around the topic but it just sits. Meanwhile, I'm compelled to blog about this fundamental driving force in my life. What is it that gets me moving in the morning so that I can dance, step or plod through the day, whatever the case may be? My day might be delightful in all regards, ludicrously wicked or somewhere in between but the driving force is always the same.

Have I created enough of a wave to get some interest going? Fearful that I will disappoint with the meagerness of my truth, I'll just throw it out there anyway.

Every new day of my life, I wake and roll out of bed, seeking first the cup of coffee that will jump start the journey. Every step I take between that first moment out of bed and the moment when I surrender again to the sheets is (hopefully) accomplished with intention and purpose. But, and this is the big but[t], the fuel that moves those feet in forward motion, the energy that carries me from location to location, the catalyst for the voice that communicates endlessly by spoken and written word derives from the realization that I'm moving closer to the prize, that precious moment when I will land up in that bed again, horizontal, quiet, and finished if only for the briefest of times. It's all about getting back to the prize.

There, I said it. My truth. I once heard someone very close to me tell 30 years ago that she lived a similar truth; maybe she still does. If she reads this, maybe she can comment on whether this "truth" changes over time or is a permanent fixture. It's not that it embarrasses me; on the contrary. The work I do between foot on floor in motion and foot turning into bed at night is done with great passion on some days, reluctant acceptance on some days, and only on a few days polluted by down-in-the-dirt resentment. But, IT gets done and for that I'm grateful.

Right now, as I write this post, I'm making a wish list and a to do list for the day that lies ahead. But what propels me forward is the deep knowing that the reward will come when I'm horizontal again. Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now and A New Earth) would say that I'm missing out on the only moment we ever have which is "now". Perhaps yes, perhaps no. I'm still thinking of the bed and just can't help it.