Virginia

May 28, 1914 - April 25, 2003

If Virginia Maher were alive today, she would be celebrating her 94th Birthday. Born in 1914, she died in April 2003 just short of her 89th Birthday. I remember her last birthday party; over Memorial Day Weekend 2002. We celebrated at our home and were fortunate to have quite a gathering of the clan; Kathy, Maureen, and Denny and four of Virginia's grandchildren (Chris, Laura, Lisa, and Carolyn). I remember the brilliant fuchsia rhododendron in our back yard in full bloom much as it is today in this photograph, glistening in the mid-day light of late spring. The weather that day was gorgeous and we have several photographs of the family posing in front of this beauty. We couldn't know that this would be her last birthday party but nonetheless we celebrated as if deep down we knew.

It's hard to believe that Virginia has been gone for five years; in some ways it seems longer and in others, shorter. Several weeks after she died, on Mother's Day 2003, we planted a small lilac bush in our front yard in her honor. The fragrant pale purple blossoms always erupt at this time of year; another visual reminder of the passing years and another opportunity to remember the wonderful person who is missing from our lives.

Virginia was ever patient and loving with our children; despite all of Chris and Laura's antics, she never once implied they were ill behaved, "spoiled", or out of control although many times they were just that! She was a thoughtful house guest in our home and a terrific hostess when we spent time with she and E.J. in Sequim. She could cook an incredible meal complete with salad, main course, sides, bread, and dessert; and always insisted we take home half of the leftovers. She loved to reminisce and I recall fondly the time we spent several hours going through her old photo albums. Blessed with a great memory for detail, she always had a story to tell about this person or that location. She was also blessed with the keenest sense of hearing that I've ever witnessed in an older person; a pin could drop and she'd hear it. We never got away with anything if it involved the spoken word!

As a mother-in-law, Virginia navigated this role with amazing grace. She was kind, generous, and loving to me from the very first moments. I was welcomed into the "house of Maher" with eager acceptance, respect, and admiration. Never once did she criticize my choices but was always there as a sounding board for support in times of need. She could empathize with almost any complaint of mine but could then turn around and point out some way to look at it in a brighter light. As her health declined and her memory began to fade, she still valued her family above all else. She had her priorities clearly defined and never wavered.

I miss Virginia and think of her often. We shared many celebrations through the years, all involving great food. When May 28th rolls around each year, our tradition is to eat out at one of her favorite local restaurants in Shoreline. Spiro's Pizza and Pasta restaurant was a place she and Denny enjoyed on countless occasions over the last years of her life. And so today, Denny, Laura, and I will partake of great pizza at Spiro's and remember. Here's to you, Virginia!