She: I'm so tired today. I haven't had any coffee.
Me: Why don't you go to Starbucks and get some?
She: I don't have time to go; I'm at work. And, I'm so sick of "Folgers".
Me: Any coffee is better than no coffee, dear....
She: Mom, you're not gonna like this.....
Me: What? Tell me.
She: I don't want to.
Me: You've got to tell me.
She: I got pulled over on Division.
Me: Huh? For speeding?
Me: Did you get a ticket?
She: No. I told the cop my job depended on a good driving record.
Me: And he didn't give you a ticket?
She: Naw....I talked him out of it.
Me: You've gotta be more careful. You gotta be. Please, hon.
She: There's something else you're not gonna like.
Me: Oh God, what now?
She: I bought a guinea pig.
Me: Awwww no. Are you serious? You'll never be able to go anywhere again. They live for 5 years, remember? Why did you do that?????? Why?????
She: She's so cute. Her name is S'more.
Me: No more drama. Please.
She: This isn't drama, Mom.