I may be sounding like a broken record but.... as I look back on 2010; I'm consistently drawn to the experience of my Mom's death The defining moments came during those weeks when I knew my Mom was going to die, our collective decision to engage hospice services, the 3 day vigil MM, Dad, and I kept at her bedside prior to her death, the memorial service 3 days later, and entrance into the grieving/healing phase after her passing. I wrote plenty about all of these experiences.
Losing a parent is a big deal no matter their age or situation. In this situation, supporting the one left behind--awash in his own grief, communing with my siblings, husband, and children and moving forward steadily was defining. I learned many (good) things about myself and for that experience alone, I am grateful.
I miss my Mom every day. I often think of her and my eyes will well up with tears instantly; other times I'll remember something and feel her presence close by. The holidays were more difficult but when I think back to last Christmas and the one prior I realize that we lost Mom slowly. She slipped away, through our fingers long before her last breath. Dementia robs us of our loved ones early and we begin to grieve long before they die. But still....it's big.
What I know is that she loved me dearly and that I loved her back.
What I know is that she made it to wherever she is and is "OK".
What I know is that I will feel her presence in subtle ways forever.
What I know is that she was, as my Dad said over and over in the days before she died, "a beautiful woman and a good woman".
What I know is that I will never forget.
|Doris Bain Thompson|