Saturday, December 4, 2010

Struggling Towards the New Normal

My Dad is lonely. Mom has been gone for 8 weeks. The reality settles in like a bad dream that sticks. What to do? Just what I'm doing; visiting as often as I can, letting my (and his) emotions flow as they will, and reminding him that he is loved.

Earlier this week I worried over him; he was under the weather with some kind viral thing, so weak he had to be pushed about in a wheelchair, eating and drinking little and running a low grade fever. He got better and is pretty much back to normal now although his appetite is way down. I worry about that. 

Last evening I stopped by to see him, a surprise as I had told him I wouldn't be there until Saturday. He was so glad to see me and even though I don't stay long, he's appreciative.

"What can I bring you, Dad?"

"I can't think of a thing.", he responds.

"What about some cashews?  You used to really like those, Dad."

"That sounds good. Cashews. Yes, cashews; you could bring those."

And so, today I'll drop off the can of cashews (salty to encourage him to push back the liquid too) as well as a bag of cookies and some paperwork about an upcoming Christmas Concert at church and some of the AFH's holiday events. I'll encourage him to attend these, even without the love of his life.


  1. Sometimes a cliche is the way to go - one day at a time. Hope your dad feels better soon. You too!

  2. You are doing the best thing possible in being present with him.


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