Lesson Learned

Prompt for Dec. 17:   Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? ( author: Tara Austin Weaver)

I learned that I could lose a parent and not disintegrate, that I had the strength to open my arms to the grief, feel it fully, accept the pain, and steadily move forward. I never thought this would be possible, even a few years ago. My Mother's death was something I tried not to think about even though its inevitability and proximity grew closer. I was terrified.

I learned that grieving is a process and that I would (will)  make my way through, even now as I remain on that path. This, I can do.

Now, then....what seems the impossible is living through the loss of a child. I have friends and acquaintances who have done so. They have not had a choice. But me? I pray daily that I won't experience the unnatural order of death. Our children are not meant to predecease us.This, I fear, I could not do.