Going to BlogHer?

To go or not to go?

I have my airline tickets, registration for the BlogHer Conference, time off from work, a hotel room right across from Macy's in San Francisco with my sister. Why would I even ask such a question about going or not going?

Things in my life are rarely clear cut and simple (anymore). I admit that the workings of my mind tend to make all my decisions complicated when they shouldn't be. Such is the "state o' Maine"* * (one of D's and my favorite expressions which means "it is what it is"). I wish this were the "state o' anything else". Did you know there is only one U.S. state with one syllable? Maine, obviously and no other state in that phrase "state o' " sounds as good. But I digress.

I have a busting migraine today, 5th in the last week. The muscles of my chest/back are in constant spasm as if I had bench pressed several hundred pounds. There is heartburn unrelieved by antacid, H2 blocker (pepcid), and proton pump inhibitors (prilosec). I also may have strep throat (caught from my dearest daughter who has had it 3 times in as many months). Plus I was around a patient all weekend who didn't get put into isolation for his culture proven "parainfluenza". I'm in the midst of a cesspool of germs. That my right knee is an annoyance is way down on the list right now although I do have a follow up visit with the doc and the physical therapist today to learn what I already suspect: "this is the best it will be" now that I am over 4 months from surgery. Lovely. I am H.D.M.

But I digress yet again. To go or not to go to BlogHer? I may just need to get out a pad of paper, draw a vertical line down the page and on one side list the PROs and on the other side list the CONs. Trouble is; the various reasons carry different weights so the scorecard is hard to balance. There are reasons (in the CONs list) varying from self talk like: I'm not a blogger; this is a pipe dream (what is a pipe dream anyway?; need to look that up in Wikipedia as all I think it means is unrealistic frivolity) to I can't get on the plane to I can't be away from my own bed to I am too tired and need to sleep. Sad thoughts like that.....

On the PRO side, I need to get away. If I don't go to a single meeting, just being somewhere else will have its rewards. If all I do is eat, sleep and wander Macy's (can't buy anything; no money) that's of value, right?

But first, I need to get rid of this migraine. Took an imitrex and strong coffee (two of the essential Desert Island Must Haves and may chase it down with the third which is aspirin). Maybe if I can get rid of the pain I can make a decision.

I pity those of you who made it through this post of "woe is me". You can see that I have some kind of ADD jumping from thought to thought to thought. Such is the "state o' Maine"**.


**name of the bear in John Irving's book, The Hotel New Hampshire

"That dumb bear was named State o' Maine, and my father bought him in the summer of 1939--together with a 1937 Indian motorcycle with a homemade sidecar--for 200 dollars and the best clothes in his summer footlocker." (from chapter 1)