Naughty

I'm posting today about this grotesque piece of "yard art" which proudly adorns the front yard of our neighbors to the south. Why? Mostly so I don't succumb to my innermost desire to vandalize private property and get slapped with a charge of malicious mischief. Denny, being the upstanding citizen and new lawyer that he is, fears I will be caught even in the dead of night, and then he'll have my legal woes to worry about in addition to studying for the Bar Examination. I say, maybe if I do get caught, he could represent me although I wouldn't have much of a defense. That the bastards who own this poor excuse for a fired clay frog cut down our bank of Leyland cypress two years ago probably would not justify my actions and I'd be slapped with a heavy monetary penalty and a mark on my pristine record. I ponder the consequences but the urge is mighty.

On a warm night a week or so ago, I awoke at 2 AM. Moonless, quiet, and oh so dark it was. The plan played out in my mind down to the intricacies of my disguise and the color of the spray paint I would use to make my point. So strong was the pull that it took amazing restraint to keep myself in the bed, bound in my fantasy instead of launching into the action that would take me down to the garage to rifle through half used cans of aerosolized paint. Finally I lured myself back to sleep but periodically the urge returns. The pull is hypnotic, almost trance-like. I rationalize that destruction of (this) property does not involve any living thing(s) and somehow that makes it more "OK".

So, I post about my fantasy as an insurance policy against acting out my innermost whimsical desire for revenge. I doubt that my neighbors have ever heard of a blog, much less read one so I fear not that they will find this post. But, if something happens to said frog, I could easily be incriminated by these words. And, that is my purpose. I need strong disincentives to keep my spirited desires at bay.